Inviting Grief Into the Joy of the Holiday Season
“Tears are a river that takes you somewhere…Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better.”
– Clarissa Pinkola Estés
The holiday season can truly be magical, as it is often filled with gatherings, shared meals, rituals, and moments that invite us to slow down and reconnect.
And yet, they can also be emotionally intense. With so many events, expectations, and reminders of how things “used to be,” this time of year can feel overwhelming, especially for those grieving the loss of someone they love.
During the holidays, we become especially aware of loss because we repeat rituals we once shared with the people we loved: traditions, meals, songs, and moments that now carry absence alongside meaning.
So rather than resisting these feelings or pushing them away, there can be healing in simply acknowledging them.
I’ve collected some of the ways to support yourself during this time. And, as always, do not isolate and reach out if the grief becomes too overwhelming.
Reimagine traditions.
If something feels too heavy this year, it’s okay to change it, or skip it entirely. Go to a restaurant instead of hosting. Visit someone else’s home. Let traditions evolve.
Plan an exit strategy.
Identify a safe person you can check in with or text if emotions rise. Knowing you have support can make gatherings feel more manageable.
Create rituals that honour your grief and support your moving with it
Create a memory jar and place one cherished memory of your loved one inside every day..
Release balloons with messages of love, sadness, hope, or farewell. Write a message – something you never got to say, a word still heavy on your chest, a prayer. Place it into the balloons, and release them into the air.
Or…place a note in a bottle and release it into water as an act of letting go.
Schedule time to grieve.
Especially on emotionally intense days, give yourself permission to step away, breathe, cry, rest, or be quiet. Grief needs space to move. And with every move, your heart will expand.